So now that you are finally over the shock of being engaged, the madness of telling all your friends and family about the wedding to come, and showing off your beautiful new diamond ring....the next step is to do some preliminary research and planning. Where do you start?? Well the initial steps require ALOT of brainstorming...
Today's topics:
1. Brainstorm potential wedding months, days, and/or dates.
2. Brainstorm style of wedding and reception.
3. Determine the budget.
4. Number of potential guests
5. Wedding planner or DIY (Do-It-Yourself)?
6. Who will be in your wedding?
7. How to get organized
8. Venue Planning and Research (tools to use)
This is my advice:
1. Discuss with your new fiance and determine what time of the year you would like to get married (winter, spring, summer, fall)? What state or region (based upon preferences, friends, and family)? Possibly narrow down your wedding to a specific month or maybe even a specific day of the week? Some people absolutely have to have a Saturday, some are willing to take a Fri or Sunday for a cheaper rate, while others are open and may take any day during the week for a great price. Keep in mind that Saturday is the most expensive day possible, especially a late afternoon/evening wedding. A lot of places will give you a better deal on a day wedding, or a Fri/Sun wedding.
2. Next, think about what style of wedding and reception you would like? (traditional church wedding, outdoor, beach, private residence, mountains, destination, restaurant, etc)
3. You can do this as the first step, but if you are like me--you may want to talk about some of the fun stuff above first--you and your fiance need to discuss a budget. How much would you like to spend? What can you afford to spend? Who is paying for the wedding? (bride's parents, groom's parents, bride and groom, everyone?) Talk to your families and see what they can reasonably contribute. How much do you have saved up now for the wedding? How will you obtain the money for the remainder of the budget? Then set a weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly savings goal. And then I recommend each of you mention a couple of items that you don't want to sacrifice cost on (photography, alcohol, DJ, dress, decor, venue, etc)...and this may take some compromising and will definitely be a conversation that will continue to come up throughout the entire planning of the wedding.
4. Consider, while keeping the budget in mind, how many people you expect or would like to invite (of course, this may change as research venues and discover the cost per person)? Do you guys want a small wedding(up to 75 people), medium wedding (up to 150 people), or large wedding (150+)? How many people are you letting your parents invite? Will you allow kids or is this an adult only wedding?
5. Determine if you can afford or will have a wedding planner, what your budget is, and what their role will be in your wedding? (Will he/she plan the entire wedding and reception, certain parts, a minimal role?) Or decide if you will do the wedding yourself, or with friend(s)/family? Think about you and your soon-to-be hubby's schedules, time commitments, time constraints, and determine realistically if you will be able to pull it off successfully within the time allotted?
6. Think about who you would each like to be in your wedding (maid of honor, bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen, ring bearer, flower girls, etc) and how large of a bridal party?
7. Since you have started doing some wedding brainstorming, think of a way to organize yourself. You can go down to Barnes & Nobles, Borders, or any major book retailer and go to the wedding section to get wedding organizer ($20-30). Or you can do what I did and go to Target, buy a large 3 ring binder, index tabs, color sleeves, and make your own (suggested sections: Wedding Location/Reception, Guests (guest list, seating, chart, gifts, bridal party), Theme/Style (colors, flowers, centerpieces, invitations, save the dates, website), Style (wedding dress, bridal party dress, shoes), Menu (food, beverages, cocktails, cake), Music/Photos (DJ/Live Band, Songs played, photographer, videographer), Honeymoon, Gift Registry, Other Details/Miscellaneous)
8. After getting your organizer together, the next step is the venue...you want to secure your venue as early on as possible in order to increase your chances of getting the day or date you are interested in as well as a great price! For venue research, start on the web....go to the websites of places in your mind you remember and are interested in. If none come to mind go to sites like http://www.herecomestheguide.com/, http://www.theknot.com/, and http://www.weddingwire.com/. Also, if you really don't know where to begin or what you like, go crazy like I did and buy a variety of wedding magazines or books....or if you have time, go sit at a local bookstore and thumb through them for ideas. :) You can check national magazines (Martha Stewart weddings, Brides, Elegant Brides, Inside Weddings, The Knot, etc..most of which you can find at Target/Walmart) and your local wedding magazines for ideas. (If you are in LA, OC, or San Diego California, pick up a Ceremony Magazine http://www.ceremonymagazine.com/) I also encourage you to sign up on a few wedding sites and communities (http://www.abridetobee.com/, http://www.brides.com/, http://www.bridalguide.com/, etc) and try to attend a local wedding trade shows, where you are bound to find a lot of local venues as well as vendors for your wedding.
Let GOOGLE become your best friend!! Google, Google, Google, and as you come across sites of interest make sure to save it under a "Wedding" folder in your favorites link. Also, set up a Wedding folder on your desktop and in your email folders and when you receive or save anything wedding related you put it in these folders so you know exactly where to go to find the information. Once you start compiling a list of interested venues, you will want to start finding out about their cost, number of people they can accommodate, menu options, wedding or reception or both, various room options, etc. You can contact venues via email for initial information and many of them will send you info in pdf file, and those that don't may be able to fax it or require that you stop by to visit.
I know the information to be collected can be very overwhelming and hard to discern so I have a couple questionnaires that may be of help to quantify the data and make it make sense. This first document is a Venue Checklist (http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddwx6x7c_6g4xbh2fw) and I had a friend that developed this for me and boy did it prove to be very helpful. Use this document when visiting the venues and discussing details. It helps jot down the important details of the venue and doesn't allow you to forget to ask the important questions. The 2nd document is the Venue Analyzer (http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=pb1VRdt5-YHuj0ikWUvUAOQ) which allows you to do a side-by-side comparison of the venue's costs, whats included and whats not, so at the end of the day you have an idea of the total cost per venue. (Please note: there are 2 sheets on the excel spreadsheet, please view both.) This document was very helpful in allowing me to choose the venue that fit our budget yet still offered the things that were important to us. While searching for a venue, make sure to keep in mind the items discussed and decided upon above. To make it fit within your budget, you may have to sacrifice spending in some areas to get the things you guys want and deem most important.
Once you narrow down the venues to the top 10 or so, I recommend that you and your fiance go visit each venue and take your Venue Checklist with you. Make sure to jot down the positives and negatives about each venue and select your top 5 to put in the Venue Analyzer. Keeping budget, availability, cost, location, and all other factors of importance to you...you should be able to narrow your choices down to your top 2 or even number 1 choice! Make sure to put down the deposit to hold the venue once you have decided upon it. Ask the venue about their refund policy and look into the possibility of wedding insurance, just in case something unforeseen happens. When signing the contract, READ EVERYTHING, anything uncertain or incorrect make sure to address it and any verbal agreements made between you and the venue/catering manager...make sure to get in writing or add to the contract in writing with every one's signatures. (You want to make sure to negate any potential problems in the future!) After deciding on the venue you can breathe....at least for just a little bit...and then its back to work!
My last advice is remember that this experience should only bring you two closer. Know that most men aren't interested in the details of the wedding and may not be as helpful as you would like, try to find ways to include him but don't be offended or hurt if he is just not that excited about the color of the girls dresses or the cute favors you found. At the end of the day this engagement and wedding is about you two, do not let the opinions and advice of friends or family replace the dreams and wishes of you two on your special day. It seems that when weddings are announced, the wedding monsters (everyone but the bride and groom) come out and want to provide their 2 cents, feedback, way you should do it, etc.....but politely accept their thoughtfulness and do what will make you guys happy.
Today I went over a lot of initial planning and brainstorming steps and will continue to add posts topic by topic in a sequential order of relevance. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I hope it is helpful!
Elvira
